Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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