I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
