Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We are two peas in an std pod
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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