come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
