I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Randomize
