im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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