just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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