help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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