the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
