She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
please come you make the beer taste better
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize