I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Randomize
