i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
