I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
