he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize