My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
