hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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