Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
They have beer where we have blood.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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