did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
So squirting runs in the family.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize