So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
