Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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