I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
