I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
this boner is exhausting
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
