I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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