If i come over, it means nothing
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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