I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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