ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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