i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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