Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
