I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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