hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
