matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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