I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
