I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
