A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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