Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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