Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
