hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
COCAINE IS GR8
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
