I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
