Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
