i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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