I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
