As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
