But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
pray to the hookup gods
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