So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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