conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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