...so i touched it.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
