so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
