I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
