who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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