Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
