put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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