Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
