So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i think i scared a bird with my dick
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
