I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
