My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
