I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
