Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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