so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
