All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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