Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
