Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
