pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Your mouth is God's brothel.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
