Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
