glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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