there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
