You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
