I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
