yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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