Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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