'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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