I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
