sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
