I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
