I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
