Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
