My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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